10. If you really are what you eat, this guy is a glazed meatless nut roast.

9. Between the leather couch and the wool rugs, the poor guy can’t decide whether to sit or stand.

8. You have to hear about how you’re exploiting the overfed dog snoring on the couch.

7. He digs through the trash so he can check the ingredients on the pumpkin pie filling can.

6. Amazingly, the vegan and the cattleman have found a small patch of common ground—antiturkeyism.

5. He hands out “tofurkey” recipe cards to everyone—mmmm!

4. While most people at the table argue about immigration and taxes, he’s ranting about Obama pardoning only one turkey for Thanksgiving.

3. He refuses to watch the football game—something about “pigskin.”

2. While everyone else is nodding off after dinner, he’s still wide awake.

1. As it turns out, the only thing he can eat is the centerpiece.

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