10. Leaves are falling like President Obama’s poll numbers.

9. Since it’s now closer to this Christmas than last Christmas, it seems pointless to carry those decorations up to the attic like your wife asked you to do last January.

8. If the cows could talk, they’d be pointing out the merits of an early weaning program.

7. Your seed dealer stops by to find out which hybrid would have done the best if it had only rained.

6. Coffee shop talk has moved from the lousy economy to wooly bear caterpillars and the possibility that daylight savings time is a Communist plot.

5. Even with a three-month layoff, you can still ID the sound of the school bus coming down the road.

4. The television shows you never watched last year have been cancelled and will be replaced with the ones you won’t watch this year.

3. The water gap is clogged with hedge balls which, so far, has not been a problem.

2. You think back nostalgically on how you got stuck in the mud cutting 40-bushel beans last year.

1. The TV weatherman announces that since the coldest winter has been followed by the hottest summer, you’re currently on track for an average year.


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