10. The neighbor to the north and the neighbor to the south who have their pickups pulled up side by side and are undoubtedly discussing how in the world you could afford a new tractor.

9. The neighbor’s old dog, “Lucky,” who likes to sun himself in the middle of road.

8. A big round bale unknowingly left by someone who drives too fast or needs a new trailer or both.

7. Gone-mustang emus formerly owned by the guy who moved out from town with a sure-fire plan to get rich.

6. The soft-hearted lady from around the section who will not drive on until that turtle gets across the road.

5. Deep, circular ruts caused by the kid down the road who got a four-wheeler for his birthday.

4. The county maintainer making its first appearance since Bush was elected—the first Bush.

3. The retired farmer who likes to check out everybody’s crop and pasture situation at a blazing 12 mph.

2. An escapee from the cowherd of the guy whose pasture has about as much grass as the gravel road.

1. A school bus waiting to pick up the neighbor kids whose mother will, after about five minutes, step out onto the front porch in her house coat and wave the bus on.

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