10. He acts like he’s never seen a spittoon in a fine restaurant before.
9. He’s sniffing to identify the aroma mingling with bacon and eggs that seems to be coming from the other patrons’ boots.
8. He actually asks for a menu.
7. In his ignorance, he sits at a table that has been unofficially reserved since 1983.
6. The waitress chuckles as he outlines specific instructions for how he wants his eggs.
5. The vehicle he pulled up in does not have a bale spear, cake feeder, rusting baling wire, a four-way, a cracked plastic 5-gallon bucket, upside down mud boots or two spare tires (one with some air).
4. It takes him a while to figure out he can either keep his shirt on or get his own coffee refill.
3. He leaves the only tip of the morning that is actual folding money rather than pocket lint and spare change.
2. His appearance kicks off a rumor that he’s either from the EPA or he’s there to buy up land for Ted Turner.
1. He’s the only one who doesn’t know the cooler on the right contains pop and beer while the one on the left contains bait — and pop and beer.