10. He buys one of those heart-shaped candy boxes on February 15 when the price drops.

9. Since she complains about wading through mud, he figures new rubber boots would be just the ticket.

8. He proudly tells her he’s got a line on a nicer camper to borrow for this year’s county fair.

7. Like an idiot, he fell for the old “don’t get me anything” line.

6. And neither does the “Huge Valentine’s Day Farm Machinery Auction.”

5. Missed the new hairstyle, didn’t you?

4. He has a long history of bad gifts: jumper cables, coveralls, and multiple camo items.

3. Isn’t Valentine’s Day in March?

2. A seed company stocking cap? Seriously?

1. She loves stuffed animals so he can’t wait to show her what he picked up at the taxidermist’s.