10. There’s a man laying beneath some sort of farm equipment and — goodness — the language he’s using!

9. A big farm thing with an orange triangle on the back is taking up the whole road and I’m late for my hair appointment.

8. Some farmer is cutting down all the little Christmas trees in his pasture — where are the bunnies going to live?

7. Isn’t there a curfew on driving those noisy tractor-things after dark?

6. Last week, there were all these cows and calves in that pasture, and now there are just cows and I’m afraid the calves have been kidnapped.

5. A pickup has been parked by a cornfield all day and I think it’s been abandoned.

4. There’s a cow standing in a pond and she must be stuck (OK, OK, once in a while she really is.)

3. A cow seems to be giving birth with absolutely no medical personnel on site.

2. I’ve been driving by the same horse in the same pasture for 25 years and lately he’s been getting skinny — I think they’re abusing him.

1. That bull and those cows — do they really need to do that in public?