10. He frequently rehearses his excuse speeches for his wife — "I missed our anniversary because ...", "I was late for supper because …", etc.
9. When it’s cold, he wears this goofy stocking cap with a big red ball on top but keeps his well-worn silver belly in the truck for trips to town.
8. He sings (loudly) classic rock and golden oldie country out in the pasture.
7. He can’t sing a lick.
6. He unleashes Old Testament-style wrath on the boss cow if she pushes his favorite old gal out of the cake line.
5. He once aimed over the head of his neighbor’s chronically “out” bull and, well, heck, you know he’s not that good of a shot.
4. He often does the very things he’s told his kids not to do — assume the cows won’t bother the left-open gate, give it heck trying to jump the gully, etc.
3. He verbally scolds the bottom-end producers with the threat of going to town.
2. He seems to think his saddle horse is a therapist with whom he can share deeply personal issues — Dr, Club-Footed Sack-o-Cat Food?
1. He alternately gives thanks or cusses for having the best/worst job in the world.