10. If there are cattle and horses in the street, it’s a roundup. If there are cattle, horses and a marching band, it’s a parade.
9. Two farmers parked in the middle of Main to exchange rainfall information counts as a traffic jam.
8. Traffic lanes have little to do with the painted line and more to do with the size and location of potholes.
7. Double-parking is okay if you’re on good terms with the person you’re blocking.
6. Park your stock trailer any ol’ way but keep in mind where it drains.
5. Only the natives know there’s a 10 mph difference in the speed limit depending on whether you’re coming or going.
4. Open range laws are in effect for pet goats, ponies and one-cow dairy herds.
3. Out-of-county tagged vehicle operators should keep in mind the annual Fourth of July celebration is funded by traffic tickets.
2. The fact a traffic sign is bent over, covered with poison ivy and shot full of holes is no excuse for not heeding it.
1. Old farmers, landlords and potential landlords always have the right-of-way. £