Farm Talk's Top 10

10. Instead of “recalculating, recalculating,” your GPS says, “Wrong-turn dumb*##!”

9. Mechanics no longer have grease under their fingernails but they do have carpal tunnel syndrome.

8. Smart baler shuts down when hay bale value drops below hay baling cost.

7. Sale barn laptop saves money — by the time you enter data on the calves in the ring, somebody else has bought them.

6. A new mobile phone can be programmed to only drop calls from people who annoy you.

5. Nanotechnology pesticides kill everything and automatically file a crop insurance claim.

4. The latest RFID ear tags are uplinked to your banker and USDA.

3. Virtual farming leads to virtual grocery shopping, virtual eating and real-time weight loss.

2. GPS chips in hay bales allow you to locate those that fell off the trailer.

1. High-tech squeeze chute is manure-resistant, programmable for calf size and cusses for you.

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