10.  From-the-cab transmission access.

9.  Bumper custom-shaped to fit south end of northbound bull.

8.  Worst windshield cracks are on passenger side.

7.  Non-functional odometer extends time between oil changes.

6.  Comes with vise-grips window roller-downer.

5.  Seasoned tire tread will not kick up gravel.

4.  Baling wire radio antenna handy for emergency fence-fixing.

3.  Places to hook on chain are well marked.

2.  Perfect for convincing lender you’re not blowing money on nonessentials.

1.  Who’s going to steal it?