10. Plenty of stuffing — of course you’ll need a 50-gallon bucket and a plunger with an extension.
9. Hamburger yams — if Burger King can make hamburger from plants, you can make plants from hamburger.
8. With a couple of pens in the feedlot, you need to do whatever you can to prop up the market.
7. Those horns’ll make a darn fine centerpiece.
6. The bones ought to take care of the dogs for a week or two.
5. Turns out the whole Thanksgiving turkey thing got started because feuding order buyers at the Plymouth Rock Sale Barn drove beef prices sky-high.
4. Leftover red meat or leftover white meat — easy choice.
3. No tryptophan so you’ll fall asleep at halftime instead of the first quarter.
2. New checkoff campaign: Beef. It’s What’s for (Thanksgiving) Dinner.
1. Twice the drumsticks!