10. Four neighbors immediately remove you from their Christmas card lists
9. You bend over to pick up an old license plate and find out it’s attached to a car.
8. The county agent is all excited because the place has soybean cyst nematodes the size of rat terriers.
7. The hash marks on the side of the barn turn out to be flood level lines.
6. The 5-acre pond is 5 inches deep.
5. Results of the soil test analysis say, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
4. There is a musk thistle-sericea lespedeza-Johnsongrass nursery on the backside.
3. The field you thought had been sprayed with glyphosate was actually treated with an experimental herbicide 25 years ago.
2. There’s a ditch filled with all kinds of stuff the EPA seems very interested in.
1. When they said it had been in no-till, they didn’t explain it had been in no-harvest, too.