10. To err is human; to forgive failing to shut the gate sets a bad precedent.
9. Sometimes procrastination actually works.
8. An important part of employee management is convincing the employee that half a beef is way-better than a raise.
7. Sure the “miscellaneous” folder has more stuff in it than the IRS tax code but at least your desk is semi-clean.
6. Might as well catch a siesta for the first 59 minutes of the hour since you know it’ll end up being a last minute job.
5. Thinking outside the box only works if you don’t set the box on fire and burn the barn down.
4. When you can’t solve a problem, ask yourself what John Wayne would do — then hire an expert.
3. You can be late for almost anything, except meetings with your lender.
2. The way Grandpa did things is just fine, but remember Grandpa wasn’t stupid — he would have loved an air-conditioned cab, GPS and a squeeze chute that squeezed when it was supposed to.
1. A pat on the back is only inches away from a kick in the rear.