10. He couldn’t buck on three legs so I wasn’t in any hurry to fix him.

9. I got a heckuva deal on leftover french fries.

8. I figured, she’s only got one calf so she actually has twice as many teats as she needs.

7. Didn’t think it was pink-eye — that’s really more of a green.

6. I gave her two shots of somethin’ and fed her some other stuff and she still didn’t get better.

5. My neighbor swore that raw eggs and cod liver oil’d cure her right off.

4. The moon sign wasn’t right to call you until yesterday.

3. So I got to thinking, what if I put the medicine in a shotgun shell...

2. It wasn’t until we dragged her out of the pond that I noticed her hooves — or lack thereof.

1. Heck, I thought it was one of the neighbor’s cows.