10. Miles and miles of mole trails loosen topsoil.

9. Sporadic mowing allows forb (weed) reseeding and creates biomass (windrows).

8. Extreme plant life biodiversity in a smattering of crabgrass.

7. Thousands of mini-wetland depressions created by cow and horse hooves and facilitated by lax fence management.

6. Vegetable garden doubles as bermudagrass nursery.

5. Expensive holly bushes are perfect winter browse for deer.

4. Teeming armadillo herd keeps grub population in check.

3. Dogs provide natural, although randomly distributed, fertility.

2. Drive-by litterbugs deliver long-term aluminum soil amendment.

1. Hedge trees on one side, pecans on the other — it’s like Disneyland for squirrels. £

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