10. Pie sales in the sale barn café go up when your calves enter the ring.

9. The nice FSA lady explains that the “prevented planting” provision is not activated when your tractor won’t start.

8. The neighbor’s visiting Jersey-Zebu-Scottish Highlander, ex-bucket-calf bull actually upgrades your next calf crop.

7. The pen of boars does not represent a foray into the seedstock business — it just means you never caught the moon sign right.

6. A tree falling on the fence actually improves security.

5. Your spring- and fall-calving herds tend to flip-flop from year-to-year.

4. Your stock dog is too lazy to get up off the porch to bark at the Avon lady.

3. Driving by your winter pasture with a big bale on behind typically causes a stampede.

2. Neighbors speculate as to whether your field is corn or wildlife habitat.

1. Your seed corn dealer gives you a competitor’s cap.