10.  57 percent of farmers have given their wives jumper cables for Christmas at least twice in the past five years.

 9.  68 percent of ranchers can’t drive by a nativity scene without wondering who gets those hay bales after Christmas is over.

 8.  42 percent of dairy farmers give cheese to their relatives.

 7.  22 percent of farmers have hidden their wife’s Christmas present in the barn only to discover significant rodent damage on Christmas Eve.

 6.  11 percent of farmers have said, “Don’t buy me anything. I may trade pickups the week after Christmas.”

 5.  47 percent of farmers will sit on one of those benches in the mall, wait for their wives, and try to estimate how many bales of hay could be stacked in there.

 4.  24 percent of crop farmers will consider parking a combine out by the road and putting Christmas lights on it.

 3.  .06 percent of crop farmers will park a combine out by the road and put Christmas lights on it.

 2.  35 percent of poultry producers have made it clear that they would like “anything but turkey” for Christmas dinner.

 1.  83 percent of cattlemen will check the calendar to find out if Christmas will interfere with sale day at the local auction barn. £