10. Three thousand acres of dirt and his wife buys potting soil at the farm store.
9. His daughter spends $100 on ready-for the-rag-drawer, pre-faded, pre-ripped jeans.
8. People buy snack foods with the half-life of plutonium but insist on free-range eggs.
7. Town folk spend beaucoup bucks on ear corn to feed squirrels.
6. Computer-smart kids can’t count back change or read a non-digital clock.
5. The acreage owner down the road waters the heck out of his lawn so he can mow it more often.
4. The lady in line ahead of him orders deluxe cheese nachos and a diet soda.
3. His wife’s explanation of why new carpeting is more important than a four-wheeler.
2. Warnings on chemical labels telling you not to drink the stuff.
1. Politics — anything about politics.