10. Stalk Broker: The purveyor of environmentally tailored seed genetics and darn nice caps.
9. Semen First Class: Strategist for genetic advancement who, after the fifth open cow, can answer the question, “You did get those bulls semen checked, didn’t you?”
8. Pollster: Get those horns off genetically or mechanically — except for the roping steers.
7. Cardiologist: On speed dial in the event of catastrophic market, weather or pest event.
6. Chemical Engineer: The person who gets the blame when your cell membrane disrupters get mixed up with your photosynthesis inhibitors.
5. Master of Disaster: Somebody who doesn’t completely lose it when the top of the cab is the only thing showing from that wet spot in the field.
4. Human Resource Specialist: The person who — in a nonjudgmental way — tells the new guy his giant hoop earring is a really stupid fashion choice for farm work.
3. Petroleum Engineer: Because you need someone smart enough to not put gas in the diesel, and vice-versa.
2. Flight Engineer: Someone well-mounted who can rope a wandering #%&*%+^ before he literally bulldozes another neighbor’s fence.
1. Chief Executive Officer: The person who gets paid last and, sometimes, least.