10. The squeeze chute won’t squeeze.
9. Trump is using your corral as a model for “the wall.”
8. The new yearling bull is not only height-challenged, he’s developing inadequacy issues.
7. You don’t bother unloading the bale trailer — the cows have eaten it all by the time you turn around.
6. You could put your ranch name and address — including zip code — on your branding iron.
5. The vet brings a step-ladder for preg-checking.
4. The calves can run under their mamas’ bellies right up to weaning.
3. When five or more are in the pond, the water runs over the spillway.
2. When you call the AI technicians, you request, “the tall guy.”
1. Your go-to rope horse is an ex-Budweiser Clydesdale.