10. The stacked trait seed you bought tolerates a dozen different pests — but not rodents while it’s still in the bag.
9. Ground is ready to plant when you throw a clod at the neighbor’s dog and it bounces rather than splatters.
8. Spring is officially here when the parts counter guy develops a nervous twitch.
7. The best rain dance is a load of uncovered seed bags.
6. Never tell your son/daughter/employee that they can quit for the day when the field is planted — unless you want to see how high your planter will bounce.
5. If your seedsman won’t answer the phone there may be a shortage of replant seed.
4. The time to burn pastures is when the neighbor lady is gone but the volunteer fire department isn’t.
3. You get a better spot on the co-op’s chemical application waiting list if your bill’s paid.
2. GPS does not recognize that tractor-eating seepy sidehill.
1. The neighbor who has his planter hooked up and pointed toward the field? He may just be messing with you.