10. So-and-so is flat broke and will be selling out soon.
9. The same so-and-so just bought a new combine — cash.
8. Ted Turner was seen driving through town and is buying up land to save some little furry critter nobody’s heard of.
7. EPA is designating driveway mud puddles as ‘wetlands.’
6. There’s a 16-point buck roaming that section with all the purple posts.
5. Those drones you see overhead? PeTA.
4. The poultry industry is developing a four-winged chicken to exploit the hot wings market.
3. The guy who moved in down the road is going to raise mules — calls it Half Ass Farm.
2. Some drive-by do-gooder complained to the sheriff that the neighbor’s just-weaned calves looked sad.
1. The steer that won the county fair was a 4-year-old ‘altered’ by a Hollywood plastic surgeon.