10. Whether the deer has the right-of-way depends on which truck you’re driving — and how big his rack is.
9. Most road signs translate to, “Keep your speed up.”
8. If the road is blocked by a couple of old-timers having a side-by-side chat, just honk at them — unless one of them is a landlord.
7. If it’s more than a half-mile to the next corner and you come up behind a combine, three-point it and go around the section.
6. The weight limit sign on the rickety bridge refers to when the bridge was built in 1935.
5. Take care playing squirrel Whack-A-Mole on loose gravel.
4. If the speed limit sign says “85,” you might consider that the original “35” has been altered by bored teenagers.
3. If possible, avoid freshly graded roads until someone else has picked up all the resurfaced nails.
2. Since trailer light function is erratic at best, get ready for the two cowboys ahead of you to whip in to the first rehydration station they come to.
1. Count on tow mirrors to have a limited life expectancy. £