Farm Talk

January 29, 2013

The Top 10 signs you have a lousy seed dealer:

by Mark Parker

Parsons, Kansas — 10.  Customer appreciation night is held at McDonald’s where you get 50-cents off coupon for a Big Mac.

 9.  When you buy enough seed, you get a free cap —the one he’s wearing.

 8.  If he sells enough bags, he wins an expense-paid trip to Havana—Havana, Kan.

 7.  He says sure you can use your bulk seed tender—just empty the bags into it.

 6.  When you point out what appears to be off-type seeds he says you’re getting a cover crop in the same bag at no extra charge.

 5.  He seems to think stacked hybrids refers to the way he piles bags in your driveway.

 4.  His company doesn’t bother with a replant policy because most farmers don’t make the same mistake twice.

 3.  When you complain he delivered the wrong number, he pulls out a Magic Marker and changes the label.

 2.  Under “agronomic traits” in the seed catalog, it says, “Starts out kinda green and turns brownish when it matures or quits raining.”

 1. You ask if he wants to put a sign on the field when it comes up and he says, “Are you crazy?” £