Farm Talk

July 2, 2013

The Top 10 reasons the farm bill failed

Mark Parker

Parsons, Kansas — 10.  The last time most congressmen compromised was choosing between declaring most of their taxable income versus hardly any of it.

 9.  It’s tough to focus when you’re making arrangements to get your yacht out for the 4th of July.

 8.  Congressmen are philosophically opposed to subsidizing anybody who doesn’t subsidize them.

 7.  Big price tag, less than two percent of voters — it’s a no-brainer.

 6.  Half of them think it’s too liberal and the other half think it’s too conservative.

 5.  Perhaps they were confused by the fact that only 20 percent of the money goes to farm stuff.

 4.  Turns out, the bill was printed on non-organic paper from trees that may have been psychologically abused.

 3.  Some see it as a tool to end poverty, some as a tool to end farmers.

 2.  It’s a farm bill so why can’t we stick a bunch of pork in it?

 1.  Well heck, it seemed pretty silly considering everybody knows food comes from the grocery store. £