Farm Talk

August 20, 2013

The Top Ten talents possessed by a farmer:

Mark Parker

Parsons, Kansas — 10. He can count cows, dump cake, check the markets and avoid the big rocks in pasture all at the same time.

9. He can differentiate the sounds of the UPS van, FedEx truck, school bus, and neighbor’s feed truck from a half-mile away.

8. There’s that uncanny ability to schedule absolutely essential farm chores simultaneously with events he doesn’t want to attend.

7. A little duct tape, baling wire, and/or WD-40, and he can make anything work — for a little while longer, anyway.

6. He may not have done so hot in high school chemistry but when it comes to mixing herbicides, he’s lethal.

5. At the sale barn, he can bid so discreetly that his neighbor doesn’t know who’s bidding against him.

4. He can sleep through the loudest TV show and wake up to the sound of a car slowing down out on the road.

3. He can parlay a couple of “just try it” seed corn bags into a cap, a rain gauge and a thermometer.

2. He may have to hold the newspaper at arm’s length, but he can spot a newborn Charolais calf in a snow drift.

1. He can classify abnormal baler sounds as, “better check on that later,” “stop immediately,” and “oh, #*&@*^^+$!” £