by Mark Parker
Parsons, Kansas —
10. Easy transmission access from inside the cab.
9. Customized front bumper pre-shaped to fit south end of north-bound fence-jumping bull.
8. Theft prevention starting protocol—park on hill, jiggle key, pump accelerator vigorously.
7. Pliers provided not only rolls driver’s side window up and down, it can be used to change AM radio stations.
6. Exclusive chicken wire bed-liner prevents large items from falling through.
5. Seasoned tire tread will not kick up gravel.
4. Number nine wire radio antenna handy for emergency fence-fixing.
3. Alternative to GPS is folded and stashed in glove compartment.
2. Pre-cracked windshield eliminates fretting about something that’s going to happen anyway.
1. Non-functional odometer extends time between oil changes. £