by Mark Parker
Parsons, Kansas —
10. The auctioneer’s lead-in is: ‘Hey, lookee here—now if you want a lamb nobody’s gonna steal...”
9. The sale poster features the 15th place barrow from a 1978 county fair.
8. Apparently, #47 has a little fainting goat in him ‘cause he hits the deck when the gavel strikes.
7. The University of Arkansas Athletic Dept. is there looking for a new mascot.
6. That one pig may not be a grand championship contender but if he survives he’s a shoo-in for rate-of-gain honors.
5. Your arch rival from back home is the one who highly recommended this sale.
4. When you ask one of the consignors about his breeding program he says, ‘breeding what?’
3. The top meat goat prospect has a beard down to his knees.
2. When there are no bids, the owner steps up to the ring and offers free leg splints.
1. The top-seller almost brings market price. £