by Mark Parker
Parsons, Kansas —
10. You toss a dead possum as far out of the front yard as you can and your retriever sees you do it.
9. The GPS keeps telling you that you’ve made a wrong turn when you’ve been taking this route for 30 years.
8. It rains on your just-cut hay and skips right over your beans.
7. The feedlot calls and, right after the manager says, “you aren’t going to believe this...,” your cell phone loses the signal.
6. Just as you get the baler working again, the neighbor who stays forever pulls in.
5. It takes a magnifying glass, a metric conversion table, a dictionary, and a whole lot of patience to find the information you need on the herbicide label.
4. The cows are out and your saddlehorse and stockdog are with them.
3. You lose a tool, replace it, and then find the original.
2. You’re starving and your wife makes one of her “healthy” meals.
1. At the salebarn, you realize you’ve been bidding against your partner.