Farm Talk

July 24, 2013

The Top Ten best ways for the Fair Board president to lose his job:

Mark Parker

Parsons, Kansas — 10. Replace Demo Derby night with a ballet recital.

9. Sub-par poultry cages result in chicken carnage during the dog show.

8. Book a carnival whose most exciting ride involves foundered Shetland ponies walking in a circle.

7. Tell every parent who complains about something to “get a life.”

6. Actually enforce the “nobody-fits-the-animal-but-the-kid” rule.

5. You know the hog judge who got chased to his pickup a few years ago? Heeee’s baaaack!

4. Replace cotton candy, soda pop, deep-fried Snickers bars and giant turkey leg vendors with health food stands.

3. Relocate the knitting and crocheting exhibits to a couple of empty stalls in the hog barn.

2. Entry fee surcharge goes to a new recliner for Fair Board office.

1. Insult the child of any mother, anywhere, anytime. £