Farm Talk

February 7, 2013

The Top 10 signs a farmer should see a psychiatrist:

by Mark Parker

Parsons, Kansas — 10.  His lender has said, ‘Are you crazy?’ so many times that he’s beginning to wonder.

 9.  He buys his wife a new outfit that’s two sizes too big for her birthday.

 8.  Lately, he’s been telling everyone that politicians have our best interests at heart, the weather couldn’t be any better and, you know, maybe those animal rights people have a point.

 7.  He sends the just-hired-kid-from-town to the field and tells him to use his own judgement.

 6.  He voluntarily skips going to the salebarn in favor of accompanying his wife to the mall.

 5.  He keeps having the same dream about being chased by giant armyworms.

 4.  He volunteers for the fair board, water board, Extension board and is thinking about running for the school board.

 3.  He hosts the county cattlemen’s meeting and serves barbecued chicken.

 2.  He signs over grain and cattle marketing responsibility to a new brokerage firm, Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.

 1.  After years and years of talking to the cows, they’ve started talking back. £