by Mark Parker
Parsons, Kansas —
10. You log onto farm equipment repair forums before consulting the manual.
9. Your saddle horse has a GPS chip so, even if you can’t catch him, at least you know where he is.
8. Your phone is connected to your notebook which is connected to your laptop which is connected to your office computer which is connected to your tractor which is connected to your sprayer which is connected to a remote control to individually check nozzles from your phone via Skype—even if it is easier to just walk around back and take a look.
7. Web site bookmarks include 27 weather sites, 17 market sites and cowpasturepoker.com.
6. You figure it might come in handy to check the markets in 14 different languages.
5. You can now search the Internet until you find an answer that you like.
4. You have a new app that figures breakevens for bucket calves at the sale barn.
3. Your entire political philosophy has been formed from e-mail forwards that originated from who-the-heck-knows-where.
2. Saved e-mails include photos of auto-steer tractors run amok and heated deer stands with plasma TVs.
1. You figure if you could just virtually farm, you’d virtually have it made. £