by Mark Parker
Parsons, Kansas —
10. 57 percent of farmers have given their wives jumper cables, mud boots or insulated coveralls for Christmas.
9. 68 percent of ranchers wonder who gets those nativity scene hay bales after Christmas is over.
8. 72 percent of dairy farmers give Cheese Store gift certificates to their relatives.
7. 42 percent of farmers have hidden their wife’s Christmas present in the barn only to discover significant rodent damage on Christmas Eve.
6. 11 percent of farmers have said, “Don’t buy me anything. I may trade pickups the week after Christmas.”
5. 47 percent of farmers sit on shopping mall benches, waiting for their wives, and estimating how many bales of hay could be stacked in there.
4. 24 percent of crop farmers think about parking a combine out by the road and putting Christmas lights on it.
3. .06 percent of crop farmers actually park a combine out by the road and put Christmas lights on it.
2. 35 percent of poultry producers have made it clear that they would like “anything but turkey” for Christmas dinner.
1. 83 percent of cattlemen check the calendar to find out if Christmas will interfere with sale day at the local auction barn. £