Farm Talk

Farm Talk's Top 10

October 4, 2011

The Top Ten things well-meaning but clueless passersby report to the sheriff:

Parsons, Kansas — 10. There’s a boy cow all alone out in the pasture and he looks terribly lonely.

 9. A big farm thing with an orange triangle on the back is taking up the whole road and I’m late for my hair appointment.

 8. Some farmer is cutting down all the little Christmas trees in his pasture and the bunnies won’t have any place to live.

 7. A black baby calf is nursing a red cow—I think she may have the wrong mother.

 6. Last week there were all these cows and calves in that pasture and now there are just cows and I’m afraid the calves have been kidnapped.

 5. A pickup is parked alongside a corn field and, since it’s been there all day, it must have been abandoned.

 4. There’s a cow standing in a pond and she must be stuck (okay, okay, once in a while she really is.)

 3. A cow is having a calf all by herself with absolutely no medical personnel on site.

 2. I’ve been driving by the same horse in the same pasture for 35 years and lately he’s been getting skinny—I think they’re abusing him.

 1. That bull and those cows—do they really need to do that in public?

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