Parsons, Kansas —
10. Calf fecal samples should not be stored in the refrigerator, even if they are in zip-lock bags and it’s just overnight.
9. The tailgate of your first pickup, tastefully mounted on cinder blocks, is a poor choice for a coffee table.
8. Even if it really is awesome, bringing the five-foot snake skin you found into the house is unacceptable.
7. In the long-run, a new dishwasher can be a very astute investment.
6. Social obligations like your niece’s dance recital trump coon hunting with your buddies.
5. Although you thought you knew everything about grilling, you learn that the grill actually has to be cleaned from time to time.
4. Flowers and weeds are different and only one of them should be sprayed with Roundup.
3. Welding supplies, calendars and cap collections, at best, must be confined to the mudroom.
2. And, speaking of the mudroom, despite the name, there’s not supposed to be any mud there, either.
1. There can be neither peace nor serenity in the household so long as any species of small rodent resides within. £