Farm Talk

February 4, 2014

The Top 10 ways a farmer’s wife gets even with him for his transgressions:


Mark Parker — 10. She washes his favorite cap, destroying its carefully crafted shape and patina.

9. When he comes in for supper, there’s a frozen dinner discount coupon on his plate and the dog is eating roast beef.

8. On sale day, his checkbook mysteriously disappears.

7. When he asks her to pick up some parts in town, she suggests an alternative location as to where those parts might be placed.

6. His still-to-do “honey-do” list is posted on Facebook and tweeted for the whole world to see.

5. Her laundry is done while his remains in a pile next to the washer.

4. He tries his funniest lines and gets “the look.”

3. She hides the section of his Farm Talk that has all the auctions and classified ads.

2. The stack of reading material, note pad, pens, calculator, sample ear tags, nail clippers, tire pressure gauge and new tractor brochures around his recliner has been rearranged.

1. The television is turned to one of those cooking channels and the remote control has gone missing.