Farm Talk

May 8, 2012

The Top 10 issues with the 160 acres you just bought:

by Mark Parker

Parsons, Kansas — 10.  The field you thought had been sprayed with glyphosate was actually treated with an experimental herbicide 25 years ago.

9.  You bend over to pick up an old license plate and find out it’s attached to a car.

8.  The county agent is all excited ‘cause the place has soybean cyst nematodes the size of rat terriers.

7.  When they said it had been in no-till, they didn’t explain that it had been in no-harvest as well.

6.  The banker calls about some missing zeroes in the paperwork.

5.  Results of the soil test analysis say, “You’ve got to be kidding.”

4.  There is a musk thistle-sericea lespedeza-johnsongrass nursery on the backside.

3.  The neighbor on one side was the reserve champion bidder and it doesn’t appear you’ll be on his Christmas card list.

2.  What you originally thought were cow patties turn out to be the largest herd of armadillos in North America.

1. The hash marks you wondered about on the side of the barn turn out to be water level lines.