Farm Talk

Farm Talk's Top 10

April 3, 2012

The Top Ten signs you’ve just bought a bad tractor:

Parsons, Kansas — 10. As you’re driving away with it, the farmer you bought it from high-fives his son.

9. There’s a copy of the Serenity Prayer in the owner’s manual.

8. The serial number is written in black magic marker.

7. There’s no GPS but there is a compass duck-taped to the cab.

6. You have to memorize a five-step starting process that involves a hammer and pulling on a length of baling wire.

5. When you go to haul it home, you have to park the trailer downhill because it won’t quite make it up the ramp.

4. Neighbors always know what field you’re in because they can spot the vapor trail from miles around.

3. There’s a custom rack on the side where you can carry extra five-gallon oil drums.

2. Who would’ve thought tires that look like that would actually hold air?

1. It occurs to you that the reason you saw no warning lights before the loud noise is because they don’t work either.

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