by Mark Parker
Parsons, Kansas —
10. He’s laboring under the misunderstanding that you just can’t have enough dead animals in the front yard.
9. The vet charges a ‘farm visit canine risk fee’ every time he stops by.
8. He barks like the dickens when coyotes howl at night but was apparently on break when the anhydrous ammonia thieves dropped by.
7. Well heck, dogs do this sort of thing but, c’mon, every single tire?
6. He loves to stand in the middle of the gate when you’re driving cattle.
5. Maybe he’s only half retriever since he brings birds back about half the time.
4. Cattle bore him but he’ll sure go after a green-broke two-year old if you’re in the saddle.
3. If he’d just keep digging in the same spot every day you’d have a new pond.
2. The neighbors have a name for him that can’t be used in polite company.
1. You’ve seen what he eats, you’ve seen what he rolls in so, no, you’ve got no interest in letting him lick your face. £