Farm Talk

September 19, 2012

The Top Ten reasons there won’t be a new Farm Bill by the time the old one expires on Sept. 30

by Mark Parker

Parsons, Kansas — 10. Congress has postponed dealing with the national debt, Social Security, energy policy and Medicare so it’d be a shame to mess up their record.

9. Democrats hate it, Republicans hate it—but for totally different reasons.

8. The 2008 Farm Bill was 1,770 pages and environmentalists are concerned about the number of trees a new Farm Bill will kill.

7. It takes time to explain to first-term Congressmen and women that food doesn’t come from Wal-Mart.

6. It’s been prioritized right below legislation to ban the playing of bagpipes while riding a skateboard.

5. They’re waiting ‘til farmers are so desperate they’ll take anything.

4. Some Congressman has attached an amendment making chocolate chip cookies the official national cookie and the oatmeal lobby is furious—not to mention the ginger snap people.

3. One side is still looking for examples of farmers living in mansions and driving Rolls Royce tractors.

2. The other is looking for farmers living in tents and begging for spare change.

1. There’s a little thing called an “election” coming up. £