Farm Talk

Farm & Home Calendar

May 22, 2013

The Top Ten reasons a farmer gets grouchy

Parsons, Kansas — 10. Having just sold his corn, the market suddenly spikes up.

9. With beans to plant, brush to spray, cows to move and hay to cut, his wife insists he attends his great-niece’s best friend’s cousin’s wedding.

8. The teensy weensy part he needs to fix his baler is only available connected to a big (and expensive) part.

7. The spotty rain fell on his just-mowed hay, missing his just-planted beans.

6. The house air conditioner conks out on the day he was going to buy a new four-wheeler.

5. He spots one of his landlords having coffee with his land-grabbing neighbor.

4. Waiting for the big order buyers to fill their cards, he falls asleep and wakes up in a dark, empty sale barn.

3. His neighbor pulls in with a new pickup while he’s trying to attach vise-grips to where the window roller up and down thing used to be on his truck.

2. The neighbor’s Watusi-Guernsey-Beefalo bull is standing in the heifer pasture looking pretty contented.

1. Hauling old-crop corn to town, he hears on the radio, “limit down.” £

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