The Top 10 signs you're doing business at a bad bank:

10. The president tears up and hugs you when you make a deposit.

9. At the bottom of your monthly statement, it says “more or less.”

8. They’ve leased the corner office to a tattoo artist.

7. The teller keeps saying, “Man I was never good at math.”

6. They accept unscratched lottery tickets as collateral.

5. They sent you last year’s calendar for Christmas with instructions to “slide all days over one spot.”

4. The intercom’s broken at the drive-thru window so the teller breathes on the glass and writes out questions.

3. They always give you your money in pesos.

2. The doughnuts they provide for the Extension meeting are inedible.

1. They loan you all the money you want.

Mark Parker writes for Farm Talk in Parsons, Kan.